Don’t put off happiness until you find someone
Your days are full of questioning when the hell you’re finally going to meet your person, being angry and sad that you haven’t yet, and wondering if you’ll ever be truly happy. I hear you, sister, and I get it because I’ve been there. But not anymore. You have a couple of options. You can be happy no matter what. Or you can put off happiness until you find someone. How do you know when (or if!) that will happen? Even if it does, in the meantime you’ll spend your time wishing and hoping and praying for that person to come along, and then you get to wish, hope and pray that he provides you with the happiness you’re missing, which isn’t even possible. Wouldn’t it be easier to get it for yourself? Right now? Single life doesn’t have to be sad or emotionally draining. What if I told you there are 3 specific things you can do to get happy right now? Are you ready to live your best life regardless of your relationship status? These go-to tactics are the very ones I used to get happy on my own. They’ll relieve your stress, empower you to take control of your own happiness, and inspire confidence in you that you can do this. Regardless of where you are on life’s journey, here is my surefire way to live your best life right now!
Change your thoughts to change your life
Don’t you hate it when you’re feeling pretty good about being on your own and then you find out that your only remaining single friend just got engaged? Yeah, I used to hate that, too. One of the best ways to be happy on your own even when it feels like you’re the last single girl on earth is to change your thinking about what it is to be single. Family, friends, society as a whole, want you to think that there’s something wrong with being single and that you can’t possibly be happy this way. You’re so conditioned to think that being in a couple is the only way to be that you, yourself, think that you can’t possibly be happy this way. All you have to do is change your thinking, though. Granted, that’s easier said than done, but it can be done. Have you ever decided to start being okay with something that you previously wouldn’t accept only to find out there was really nothing wrong with it in the first place? You can apply the same principle to your thinking about your singlehood. When you’re sitting there thinking that single is miserable and you’ll never be happy until you find someone, think about a really good thing about being single instead. Like getting the whole bed to yourself or the conversation you just had with your bff where she threatened to ring her husband’s neck. If you start focusing on all the good things about being single, single won’t seem so bad anymore. In fact, it’ll start to look pretty darn good.
Figure out who you are and what you want out of life
I’ve run across single women in my coaching practice who have no idea who they really are or what they even want out of life. They’ve used relationships to define this for them or they’ve never stopped to think about it because they’re waiting for a relationship to define them. One of the secrets to happiness on your own is to know exactly who you are and what you want. Even if you do end up in a relationship one day you still want to be clear on these two things so that you get what you want out of life. How do you figure out who you are and what you want? Start writing. List out the important aspects of your life that don’t involve being in a relationship, such as career and friends, and take stock of where you are with them right now. Then figure out where you want to be. Do you want to change jobs? Make new friends? Start volunteering? Learn to rock climb? Decide if these things are who YOU really are and what YOU really want out of life, or if they’re who someone else wants you to be or what someone else thinks you should want. I once had a friend who wanted to learn to play golf. I’m a golfer so I was excited to hear this. I said, “So, you’re interested in golf?” She said, “No, not really, but my whole family plays, so…” You don’t want to define your own life by someone else’s standards, you want to make sure you start living your truly authentic life.
Make a plan to get you from where you are to where you want to be
Have you ever headed out in your car for someplace you’ve never been before only to have GPS crap out on you and leave you driving around in circles? You can’t get where you want to go without knowing the way. In order to find happiness on your own by getting what you want in life, you have to first know what you want and then figure out how you’ll get those things. If you’ve decided that you hate your current job and you’re making half what you’re worth, so you want to find a new career that both fulfills and pays you, how will you do this? What’s the first step you’ll take and then the next and the next? You don’t have to know every little detail and have it all planned out to a T, but getting from where you are to where you want to be will only work if you have some sort of plan. You need a road map that will get you from point A to point B. Then all you have to do is follow the map and make adjustments when you discover detours and shortcuts. You’ll learn new information along the way and may even change your destination, but in order to get anywhere you have to have a plan and you have to start going.
There you have it! My go-to ways to ensure you start living a truly happy life right now as a single woman instead of waiting for someone to come along and believing (hoping, praying) that they’ll provide that happiness for you (hint: they can’t). You now have the tools to change your thinking, define your best life, and make a plan to get everything you want. I’m so excited for you to embark on your journey as I embarked on mine!
Wondering where you can get help crafting your life plan? Get my free “How to be Happy Alone Road Map” that will guide you through, step by step, and provide continued guidance, encouragement and support. In just three days’ time you’ll start living your happiest, best life, no relationship required!
I help single women get from where they are to where they want to be by overcoming their sadness and starting to live their best lives through mindset and lifestyle changes. Contact me to learn how it’s possible to live a single, blissful life.
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