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Now Get What You Want Out of Life!

How to go from point A to point B

If you downloaded last week’s checklist, it should have given you a good idea of where you are right now in all the different aspects of your life.  It also likely pointed out some discrepancies between where you are currently and where you’d like to be in the future.  I hope you’re excited about the prospect of becoming exactly who you want to be and having exactly what you want to have in your life, no relationship required.  You have the power to create your best life all on your own.  You have everything you need to make this happen and I have absolute faith that you can do this!  It doesn’t seem so daunting when you break it down into bite-sized sections, does it?  Now I’m going to show you how to define exactly what it is that you want for your future and how to make a plan to get there.  You’ll soon be on your way to living your blissful single-girl life!

Point B

You’ve already defined Point A, which is where you are currently in your life in the areas of career, home, health & fitness, family & friends, personal development, recreation, and community.  Now it’s time to define Point B.  In all of the areas where you can see that you’re not where you’d like to be, where DO you want to be?  If you hate your job or you’re not making enough money, what would you rather be doing or how much money do you feel you need to make instead?  It’s important to not only define where you’re at right now, but also where you’d like to be, so that you can make a plan to get yourself there.  Figure out exactly what you want your life to look like in all of its many aspects and then you’ll be able to figure out how to get there.  Sometimes it’s helpful to write a little narrative.  “My ideal life looks like this…”  Side note – it’s not wrong to want a partner for your ideal life, but for the purposes of this exercise it’s easier to look at things as they pertain only to you.

The plan

Okay, you’ve looked at where you are right now (point A) and where you’d like to be (point B), now let’s figure out just how to get you there already!  In order to make big changes in your life you’re going to have to take some risks.  And risks are scary.  But what’s the easiest way to get from point A to point B?  Have a plan!  Yep, that’s right, set some goals and have a plan for each goal on how you’re going to get there.  Then all you have to do is follow your plan, and you’ll be on your way to living your best single life ever and going from feeling alone to feeling alive!  Start by looking at all of your Point B’s as the “destination” and all of your Point A’s as the “starting point.”  Then, determine the steps it’s going to take to get you from your starting point to your destination.  You can list as many steps as you need to get there.  Here’s an example:

Point A (Starting Point):

I’m miserable in my job.

Point B (Destination):

I’d like to be working in a job that I enjoy and is fulfilling.

Steps

  • Determine what job I’d like to have
  • Find out if there are any special skills or education that I need to do this job
  • Get the necessary skills and education
    • (there may be sub-steps here)
  • Update my resume
  • Search available positions
  • Send resumes and go on interviews
  • Score my dream job!

Something like this isn’t likely to happen overnight, especially if additional skills or education is needed, but just identifying the steps it will take to get you from where you are now to where you’d like to be is the first step in actually getting there.  I’ve created a worksheet for you that will help you organize all of your plans for getting from your starting point to your destination. 

Set some goals

To make your destination a reality, you have to keep yourself on track with your steps.  It’s a good idea to take your steps and assign timelines to each of them, for example 30-day goals, 60-day goals, 90-day goals, etc.  Go back to each of the steps you’ve written down for each of your goals and put a date next to each of them for when you’d like to see them accomplished.  Be realistic, of course, but don’t let them drag on and on, either.  You want to achieve your goals and start living your best life as soon as possible, right?  In the “finding a new job” example that I gave above, if you started this on January 1st your timeline might look like this:

Steps                                                                                        Completion Date

  • Determine what job I’d like to have                         January 15
  • Find out if there are any special skills or education that I need to do this job                                                                            January 31
  • Get the necessary skills and education
    • Get a certificate in Aging-In-Place                   May 1
  • Update my resume                                                       May 15
  • Search available positions                                          May 31 (and ongoing)
  • Send resumes and go on interviews                         May 31 (and ongoing)
  • Score my dream job!                                                    September 1

Now put your “due dates” in your calendar so that you know to check in with yourself and make sure you’re still on track.  If you find yourself slipping, determine why.  Is it that you needed more time than you gave yourself to complete the task?  If so, then just adjust your dates.  If it’s that you’re scared to move forward, remember that fear is just a thought that causes an emotion that causes an action, or in this case, an inaction.  Find a new thought to think and get back in there!

Get moving!

In this example it took eight months to accomplish the goal.  This may seem like a long time, but would you rather stay miserable in your current job for another eight months or for the rest of your working career?  Setting your goals and making a plan to accomplish them is what you have to do to make changes in your life.  They’re not all going to take eight months, some of them may take even longer, and some will be so easy you’ll wonder why you put them off for so long.  The point is that you start down the path to having the life you want and know that you can accomplish it all on your own.  This doesn’t mean that you can’t enlist the help and support of family and friends, and in fact you absolutely should do this!  But you will be able to accomplish what you set out to do because you are powerful and capable all on your own.  It’s not the lack of a relationship that’s keeping you from having the life that you want, it’s that you haven’t determined who you are and where you want to be as a single person, you haven’t come up with a plan to get you there, and you haven’t started executing that plan.  Until now, that is!

Figure out how to get from where you are in life to where you’d like to be.  Get your “Get What You Want In Life” free worksheet that will help you create your happiness plan!

Leslie Kaz, coach for single women

I help single women get from where they are to where they want to be by overcoming their sadness and starting to live their best lives through mindset and lifestyle changes. Contact me to learn how it’s possible to live a single, blissful life.

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