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Own your Alone: Living Alone as a Single Girl

“I’m Alone,” is Just a State of Mind

Welcome to Single Girl Bliss, your one-stop-shop for all the things the single girl needs to live a happy, healthy life on her own.

What’s this all about?

After 5 years of a young marriage that was doomed from the start and then 20 years of the roller coaster of dating, relationships, breakups, togetherness, loneliness, ups, downs, elation and devastation, I finally found my Bliss on my own.  And now I want to share what I’ve learned with every single girl out there who’s ever laid in bed at night trying to fall asleep and thinking, “I’m alone.”

How did it all get started?

After disastrous breakup number 238, I decided that the next relationship I got into would be the be-all-end-all.  I was done playing games (after 20 years!) and the next person to walk into my life would be THE one!  Hearing me say this, a well-meaning coworker gave me a book called “Calling In The One,” by Katherine Woodward Thomas.  I read the introduction and was hooked!  Katherine was ME – similar age, similar relationship history, similar angst about it all.  I felt like the book had been written just for me and I was ready to dive into it whole-heartedly.  The premise of the book is that if you follow this 7-week, day-by-day plan (as the author did) of ridding yourself of the garbage in your head and readying yourself for The One to appear, appear he will!

So, I embarked on the 49-day plan with gusto, which included reading a short chapter each day and then doing an exercise.  Many of the exercises were very worthwhile, if not embarrassing.  On one of the days you had to call up your bff and tell her that by a specific date (a year from now!) you’d be married.  Well, I couldn’t do that, but I did call up my very patient bff, Sherri, and tell her that in one year’s time I would be with the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with.  Yeah!  That would be great!

On another day you had to write down all of the negative thoughts you were getting rid of that were keeping you from being available to accept The One and then burn the piece of paper as a sacrifice to the relationship gods.  Okay, I embellished that description a bit, but that’s basically what it was, and I again enlisted patient bff Sherri to do this with me.  I’m sure Sherri thought I was completely nuts, but that’s the great thing about a bff, they have to love you anyway.

Eventually I got to day 49 of the “Calling in The One” program and when I completed the exercise for that day I expected to feel different somehow, to have this renewed outlook on men, dating, relationships and The One.  But instead something entirely different happened.  Through completing this program I didn’t so much prepare for The One to arrive as much as I realized I hadn’t been treating myself well.  At all.  I was expecting men to love me and have respect for me, when I clearly didn’t love or respect myself.  So, I decided that I was going forgo dating for an entire year and start treating myself well instead.  Before that year was even up, something magical happened.  I became happy, blissfully happy, on my own.  I had been spending so much time searching for someone else, someone to “be with”, someone to make me not alone, that I forgot to recognize everything great about being single.  And believe me, there are A LOT of great things about being single!  I’ve now been a blissful single girl for three years and I have no plans to change that status.  So, in the end I was right.  When I called up Sherri and told her that in a year’s time I would be with the person that I would spend the rest of my life with, I was right.  Turns out The One I was looking for was actually me.

Now what?

You don’t have to give up on your dream of having a wonderful, loving, romantic relationship, girls, but stick with me and you’ll learn how to live happily in the meantime, how to treat yourself like a princess, and how to be ready when and if The One shows up.  And who knows, you may just end up blissfully happy on your own like I did!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton


Leslie Kaz, coach for single women

I help single women get from where they are to where they want to be by overcoming their sadness and starting to live their best lives through mindset and lifestyle changes. Contact me to learn how it’s possible to live a single, blissful life.

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