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“Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!”

10 Ways to enjoy life on your own

Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you have to spend a significant amount of your free time sitting at home alone lamenting that you have no one to do things with.  Nor does it mean that if your friends are unavailable then you don’t get to do the things you like to do.  There are so many things you can do on your own and you may even find that you enjoy them as much or even more than you do when doing them with someone else.  Having a great time while doing things on your own is all part of living a fulfilling single life.

I can’t go do things alone, I just can’t!

When we decide that we can’t do things on our own, it’s likely coming from a place of insecurity.  Everyone will be looking at me because I’ll be the only loser there alone.  I won’t have anyone to talk to and I’ll feel like a dork.  What am I supposed to do, stare across the table at no one?  But your insecurities about doing things on your own are all in your head.  I guarantee no one else is thinking about you what you think they’re thinking.  Even if they are, who cares?  That’s on them.  In fact, if they don’t happen to be at a particular event alone, then they’re so busy focusing on the person they’re with that they likely won’t even notice that you’re by yourself.  And if they’re alone, too, then great!  Either you’ll have someone in the same boat to talk to, or you’ll at least not be the only one there alone.  The more events I’ve attended by myself, the more I’ve noticed others who are also there by themselves. You will not be the only one.

My top 10 best activities to do while living the single life

Since you won’t be the only one who’s alone at any event or any place that you choose to go, here are my top ten things (in no particular order) that I think every single should do alone and why:

  1. Go to a party alone.

So many people think that they can’t show up at a party alone.  EVERYONE else will be there with a date and I’ll look like a lonely loser.  First of all, not everyone will be there with a date.  Secondly, have you seen some of these people try to navigate a party with their dates?  The awkward introductions, the dragging of the other person around the room when they’d probably rather be sitting at a table stuffing their face with appetizers, and let’s not forget the date who gets drunk and actually hits on one of your friends while you’re not paying attention.  I’ve been to parties both alone and with a date, and I have to say that the ones I’ve been to alone have been the most enjoyable.  When I bring a date, I’m so worried about them having a good time that I neglect to have a good time, myself.  So, go to a party alone and actually enjoy the party.

  1. Take a bubble bath.

Sure, taking a bubble bath with someone else has its perks, but having the whole tub to yourself and sinking into those bubbles for a long, relaxing soak is one of the most rejuvenating things you can do for yourself.  Put on some soft music that you love, light some candles, pour your fave glass of wine, and simply enjoy your aloneness.

  1. Go to a movie.

Or the theater, or the symphony, or the opera.  Most people feel weird about going to the movies or theater alone, but this is one of the best activities to actually do alone.  How many times have you gone to the movies with a friend and missed half of it because they felt the need to interject their commentary at every turn?  Go to the movies and actually see the movie.  You’ll be in the dark and no one will notice your jumbo-sized popcorn with extra butter.

  1. Go to a museum.

Spend as much time there as you want.  Spend an entire hour contemplating “Woman with Square Head” without someone sighing loudly at you and tugging on your shirt sleeve.  If there’s one thing that should be done in quiet contemplation, this is it.

  1. Go for a walk, hike, run, bike ride.

Anything that requires you to go a certain speed, reach a certain destination, or complete it in a certain amount of time.  Chances are anyone you would go with would go at a different pace than you, which could alter your plans for not only reaching a certain destination or completing it in an allotted amount of time, but also your overall enjoyment of the activity.  And if you happen to be the slower one, then your enjoyment could be altered by your desperate attempt to try to pretend that you’re actually in shape.  Not to mention, some people like to yack while doing these activities and you may be lucky to breathe, much less squeak out an “uh-huh” to the myriad questions they’re lobbing at you.  Go by yourself, go at your own pace, and enjoy the activity unencumbered.

  1. Read a book.

Nuff said.

  1. Cook or bake something.

You may think that you shouldn’t bother to cook or bake when it’s just you.  Why not just whip out a microwave dinner and a pudding cup?  Cooking for yourself is a form of self-love.  When people cook for others they do it out of love.  They do it for people that they love and want to nourish.  In fact, feeding others is one of the oldest and most basic expressions of love.  Cook yourself something delicious.  Enjoy the process, enjoy the fruits of your labor, and recognize that you’ve just loved yourself.

  1. Volunteer.

Most people volunteer alone.  So everyone else will be there alone, too.  You’ll meet people, you’ll be doing something good for someone else, or for the earth, or for oil-slicked sea fowl, and you’ll be doing something good for your own soul, as well.

  1. Travel.

This doesn’t have to be a month-long trip around Europe where you struggle with your high school French to ask where you can get the best baguettes.  This can be a weekend to a neighboring town or point of interest.  Book a room, hop in the car, and don’t worry about anyone else’s agenda.

  1. Buy a house.

The sense of accomplishment you feel when you buy a house for yourself is like no other.  You paid for it with your money and it’s yours all yours.

I invite you to make a list

Okay, I’ve given you my top 10, now it’s time for you to make a list of all of the activities you enjoy doing.  This can be anything from domestic activities like cooking and gardening, to athletic endeavors such as running and mountain biking, to things like wine tasting, traveling, and attending monster truck rallies.  Now divide that list into three categories – things you currently enjoy doing alone, things you’d rather do with someone else but could at least fathom doing alone, and things that you absolutely can’t do without someone else.  Go through your absolutely-can’t-do-alones and decided if you really, truly can’t do those things on your own.  If not, then okay, those are the things you can make sure you schedule with other people.  Now look at the things you could fathom doing alone and notice just how long that list really is.  Get movin’ single girl, there’s no time like the present!

Leslie Kaz, coach for single women

I help single women get from where they are to where they want to be by overcoming their sadness and starting to live their best lives through mindset and lifestyle changes. Contact me to learn how it’s possible to live a single, blissful life.

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