I’ve gone and done something SO single-girl!
A little off the beaten path of my usual blog posts, this week I need to share something personal with you. I’ve just packed up my life of 27 years and moved it to another state. This meant selling the home I’d lived in and loved for 13 years, leaving all of my beloved friends behind, and transporting two cats on a very long car ride. It also meant selling and giving away lots of my stuff, as I wasn’t able to take it all with me. Why in the world would I do this when it sounds like I had to give up so much? It’s because of what I’m going to gain in return. A quick, easy and lucrative sell on my house, a fresh start in a new place, new adventures and experiences, and the ability to travel for several months of the year. And best of all, I did it because I CAN! More detail on all of that later, but suffice it to say that a lot of thought and planning went into this decision, and I’m incredibly excited to embark on my new single-girl journey.
Home sweet home
Not gonna lie, it was very difficult to sell my home. When I bought my home thirteen years ago, I told my realtor that I wanted to find the house that I could spend the rest of my life in. Not that I would, but I could. Back then my desire was to find a husband and move in with him, but I also wanted to purchase a nice home for myself before I did that. It was one of those single-girl goals that I wanted to accomplish before I got married. I had already owned two homes before that one, but this was going to be the nice home I was looking for. My years there were happy, but there was also something not-quite-right about it. Here I was in the middle of suburbia, feeling safe and “just like everyone else,” but also surrounded by families and getting notices from the HOA every other month because my lawn wasn’t quite pristine enough. I called it “screaming kid suburbia,” and while it was comfortable there (other than the screaming, of course), it was never quite “me.” Not to mention the fact that I was slaving away just to pay the mortgage on a place that I knew I didn’t want to be in forever. I got the opportunity to move into a family home in Arizona, cut way down on my expenses, live in the same place as my bff for the first time in 33 years, and spend the winters traveling while other family members are in the home. It was hard to give up my house, but nothing worth doing is ever easy, right?
The support network
The other difficult thing that I had to come to terms with was giving up my friends. When you live somewhere for twenty-seven years and you change jobs and you go to school and you join things, you accumulate a lot of people. And I’m the first one to say that one of the most important things a single girl needs is a good support network. So, how could I just leave my established one behind? It was hard, there’s no doubt about that, but I had to keep an old cliché in mind – The only constant in life is change. If I thought my support network was going to stay exactly as it was for the rest of my life, then I would’ve been crazy to leave. But I’d already seen parts of it start to break off. My closest couple-friends and built in handyman moved out of state themselves a couple years ago. Another friend moved to another country, while yet another got married and basically fell off the face of the earth. Many more friends are making plans to relocate, too, and I thought, “These people will always be my friends. They’ll always be there for me. It doesn’t really matter where I am or where they are.” And how easy is it to keep in touch these days? I can always make new friends where I go, too. That’s the clincher. There will always be more people to meet and experience along the way. I didn’t leave my network behind, I gave myself the opportunity to grow it!
Because I CAN
Finally we get to the real reason I did all this. What’s the greatest thing about being single? This is the thing that no matter how happy someone is in her relationship, she will still envy about you. It’s freedom! The freedom to do what you want, when you want, how you want, and not have to consider anyone else nor answer to anyone else. It’s the freedom to choose the exact life that you want and have it completely within your control. Now, I get that if you have kids then a certain portion of this freedom gets put on hold because you have to place their needs above yours for the most part. But I’m talking to the single-and-childless ladies out there or the single-and-empty-nesters. When you’re 100% on your own you can do whatever you want. If you’re unhappy with something, you change it. If you see an opportunity, you take it. You do this because you have the ability to do it while so many others don’t. It’s almost your duty to get out there and do all the things that other people aren’t able to do, or at least aren’t able to do so easily. I decided to make this big move and turn my life upside down because I can. I’m able to open up this whole other world for myself. I’m able to take this risk and forge a new path. There was no discussion about it. There was no resistance from someone else. There was no arguing or compromising or being held back. I just made the decision, worked out all the details, and went for it. The epitome of being happy, well-adjusted single girl!
Not so crazy after all
So, there’s my big announcement. I sold my home, left the place I’ve lived for 27 years and all the friends I’ve made there, and embarked on a whole new journey. I look forward to sharing the ups and downs, challenges and triumphs, and working through some of the same issues I hear my fellow single girls complain about – loneliness, isolation, not knowing where to meet people and connect, fear of the unknown. I hope my journey will inspire you to reexamine your comfort zone and decide if it’s time to make a change? Why? Because you CAN!
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