5 Ways to Find People to do Things With

Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you have to do EVERYTHING alone.

I’d love to do __________ if I just had someone to do it with. This is a common complaint among single people. If you’re single then you’ve said this at least once, if not many times. Not having someone to do things with is one of the number one reasons I hear people say that they want to date and/or have a relationship. So, okay, when you’re in a relationship you do have that built-in person to do things with. This assumes three very key things, however. That a) The person you’re with actually wants to do whatever it is you want to do, b) The person you’re with is actually available to do whatever it is you want to do, and c) You’re actually going to enjoy doing whatever it is you want to do with that person. How many times have you been in a relationship and you still have to find people to do certain things with because your significant other just doesn’t like sushi, or the thought of jumping out of an airplane gives them heart palpitations?

To be (alone) or not to be (alone)

I’m a huge proponent of singles doing things on their own and you can find out the best things to do alone here, but even I have certain activities that I don’t like to do by myself. There are some things that are just not fun when done alone and others where you may actually feel scared, such as traveling to a questionable area in a foreign country. So, what do you do if you really want to do a particular activity, you’ve tried doing it alone and it sucked, or you just can’t fathom doing it alone?

My top 5 ways to find people to do things with

  1. Join a sports league – When I first started playing golf I was pretty terrible at it and I had no one to play with. So, I joined a women’s golf league. But you have to be good to play on a league, don’t you? For some competitive leagues, yes, but I found a league that touted itself as a “learning league,” which meant it was friendly to beginners. Even so, I was fairly intimidated just attending the orientation meeting, like everyone was going to take one look at me and know I didn’t belong there. This wasn’t true, of course, and after playing with the league my first time I knew I was among friends. No matter what sport you like, there’s a league or a group out there that likes to do it, too, and will welcome you.

What’s great about a sports league:

  • The activities are organized for you, you just show up
  • The “people to do things with” are built in
  • You already have something in common with everyone there
  1. Sign up for a group travel experience – After learning to scuba dive, then meeting and dating a man who was also a diver, then getting dumped by said man, I really didn’t have anyone to dive with. I really, really wanted to keep diving, though, so I went to my local dive shop and signed up for a group trip. I asked for a roommate, but I could’ve had a room to myself, too, for a little extra money. When the trip came, I was again a little intimidated. I had little dive experience and I was about to fly to a foreign country, and breathe under water with a bunch of people I didn’t know and a roommate I’d never met. My fears were squashed when my roommate turned out to be awesome and also a dive instructor, the people on the trip were all very friendly, and there were lots of beginner divers just like me. Whatever type of travel you’re interested in, there’s a group trip out there for you.

What’s great about group travel experiences:

  • The trip is arranged and organized for you; no guesswork, no fear
  • The “people to do things with” are built in
  • Everyone’s on vacation so they’re happy and friendly with you
  1. Sign up for a recreational group – There are groups these days for just about everything, from foreign language speaking to bird watching. If you want to do something, so does someone else and they’ve likely started a group around it. I wanted to find a wine tasting group so I went online and found one in my city. I cautiously went to their next event and what I found was a bunch of people who liked to drink and talk about wine, just like me. Someone actually struck up a conversation with me, we sat together, she introduced me to two more ladies, and we had a wonderful evening drinking and conversing together.

What’s great about group recreational experiences:

  • The events are organized for you, you just show up
  • The “people to do things with” are built in
  • The reason you’re all there is an excellent conversation starter
  1. Volunteer for a charitable organization – I love animals, so it’s a no-brainer that when I thought about how I wanted to give back to my community I decided to volunteer for an animal welfare organization. I found one online that wasn’t too far from my home and seemed to share my philosophy. I signed up for their monthly new volunteer orientation and I was on my way. The particular organization for which I volunteer has a lot of different events and ways to contribute so I can pick and choose what I like to do. I feel like I’m part of something bigger than myself and I feel good every time I do something with this organization. I’ve met lots of nice, friendly people who are all working toward a common goal.

What’s great about volunteering:

  • The events are organized for you, you just show up
  • The “people to do things with” are built in
  • The people you meet are usually happy, friendly, giving people
  1. Organize a group of your own – Do you like to read? Start a book club. Do you like to play board games? Start a game night. I’m in the process of starting a group of my own. Again, it’s about wine, but I’ve found through attending other wine groups and events, that the activities are focused mainly on the drinking and not on the vast educational opportunities that wine brings. So, I’m starting my own group. If this doesn’t sound like an easy way to find people to do things with, it actually is. You probably already have friends who are interested in your activity and you don’t even know it. And they have friends, and they have friends, and so on. Before you know it you have a full-fledged group. If this doesn’t work out then there’s always MeetUp where you can start your group and see who you get.

What’s great about starting a group:

  • You get to decide what the group is about and make all the rules
  • The “people to do things with” are likely people you already know or people they know
  • You get to enjoy the process of creating something for yourself and others to enjoy

And there you have it. Five great ways to find people to do things with and activities to enjoy together. What I didn’t mention about each of these methods is that you’ll likely find more than just what you’re looking for. I’ve made close friends from nearly every new endeavor I’ve tried. What’s more valuable than a romantic relationship with a built-in “someone to do things with?” A bunch of lifelong friends!

Leslie Kaz, coach for single women

I help single women get from where they are to where they want to be by overcoming their sadness and starting to live their best lives through mindset and lifestyle changes. Contact me to learn how it’s possible to live a single, blissful life.

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